Not All Boomers (Just Enough to Sink the Country)

Dispatch #19: Tory Rage, CBC Propaganda, and the Last Chance to Break the Boomer Monolith

While the Brantford Boomer is soaking up the hate this week, the real bile belongs to Jagmeet Singh — who’s got a “No Regrats” tattooed across his chest, right under the Liberal Party logo Justin Trudeau seared into him during the Supply and Confidence Agreement.

Singh said he couldn’t “stomach the idea” of a Conservative majority — even with his own party as the official opposition. So he took a dump on Canadian democracy and strutted off like he’d done us all a favour.

The Liberal-NDP pact wasn’t a coalition — it was a hostage video where someone’s getting beheaded. And spoiler alert: it wasn’t Justin Trudeau.

I hope the NDP gets dragged behind the barn Monday night. There’s no reason for them to exist anymore — if there ever was.

Meanwhile, Poilievre’s already laying out his first 100 days — assuming Monday doesn’t turn into another national hazing ritual.

Which begs the question: how cooked are these polls?

And why does Mark Carney smell like a polyester bonfire?

Not All Boomers

I’m not endorsing anyone, but I’ll probably vote Conservative — mostly because I don’t want the Liberals taxing home equity, and their gun-violence plan is like cracking down on behind-the-counter Tylenol because fentanyl is cooking in some Winnipeg basement. Also, I want lower taxes.

So, team blue it is.

If the polls are right, I’m in good company. But what about the boomers itching to give Mark Carney the keys to the Liberal getaway car — still stuffed with Trudeau staffers, campaign weasels, and whatever's left of Chrystia Freeland’s soul?

Despite the narrative, not every boomer is lining up for Carney’s Kool-Aid stand.

Don’t underestimate the cross-generational bonfire brewing in Ontario.

Even the pollsters are side-eyeing their own spreadsheets. The models treat undecideds and no-shows like Bigfoot — blurry, unreliable, and never showing up when it counts.

They missed it in Ontario. They missed it in Nova Scotia. They missed it in Saskatchewan. Even David Coletto — who lives in the land of polls — basically tweeted: “Yeah, that 15-point Liberal lead was bullshit.”

Consultants, legacy media, and campaign weasels huffed the same foul polling gas. High on their own supply.

“Elbows Up!” wasn’t a grassroots movement — it was a WeChat challenge cosplaying as an election campaign.

In 2021, 47% of under-24s voted, compared to 75% of boomers. It’s not that young voters don’t care — it’s that it doesn’t matter. This time, though, rage might beat apathy.

Boomers vote like it’s a civic duty. Millennials and Gen Z vote like it’s a war crime. And this time, they might actually commit one.

Early voting looks like momentum. But it might just be civic duty wearing a cheap Halloween mask.

Tory dreams are pinned to the demographic that loses their voter card, forgets where the polling station is, wakes up groggy from THC, and is too busy having a panic attack in the breakroom to actually vote.

Godspeed.

NDP Youth?

The young have already bailed. Singh’s NDP bet it all on TikTok aesthetics and empty slogans. When you’re so weak that a globalist central banker with a voice like a chatbot is considered “change,” you’re not left-wing anymore — you’re stage props.

When the “change candidate” is a central banker who accessorizes for Davos, you’ve already lost Gen Z to nihilism and nicotine vapes.

Poilievre didn’t just soak up the anti-Liberal vote — he stole the anti-establishment rage the NDP used to hoard like canned beans before Y2K.

Jagmeet gave them slogans. Poilievre gave them someone to blame.

Carney says the real villain is Trump. Poilievre says it’s the Liberal government. One of them still lives on the same planet as the rest of us.

Even boomers can squint hard enough to imagine coming of age in a country where the old guard got cheap tuition, union jobs, and lakefront cottages — while you got roommates, rent hikes, and a discount code for BetterHelp.

And the Toronto Star can’t understand why young people would vote Conservative.

The real question isn’t why people would vote Conservative — it’s why anyone would still vote Liberal.

The Trump Factor was supposed to change the ballot from “Affordability” to “Sovereignty.” For some, it worked. For the rest, it solved nothing.

Affordability is still the ballot box monster hiding under everyone’s bed.

Will boomers unite behind the Liberals — not out of hope, but pure fear — and screw over the next generation one more time? Not all of them. Just enough. Enough to swing the wrecking ball back into their own grandkids' faces.

Everyone hates Trump, but Poilievre is still framed as Trump-adjacent.

Everyone says they’ll stand up to U.S. economic bullying. Only one party — the Liberals — is already pre-approved for the global investment matrix, even if it means setting the economy on fire.

The perfect viceroys for a dying nation: cosmopolitan, compliant, and ready to shave a few cents off the loonie to keep D.C. smiling.

Schrödinger's Prime Minister

Apparently, a Poilievre win would spike the dollar — because god is a comedian playing to a room full of bankers.

Financial analysts know he’d boost trade and investor confidence. They just can’t imagine the ruling class getting replaced by a guy who actually shops for his own groceries.

Rumour has it Chinese whales are stacking Polymarket. If Poilievre really is about to walk away with it, somebody’s going to get rich betting against CBC headlines.

Not me. Not anyone in Ontario. Doug Ford’s 'we-know-best' corporate grift says you’re not allowed to bet on Polymarket — daddy knows what’s good for you.

Fat bag-of-milk dipshit. Hope he chokes on a Sobeys chicken wing and nobody Heimlichs him.

Anyway, Poilievre is shaping up as Schrödinger’s Prime Minister: bad for democracy, good for capital; bad for real capital, good for neutering democratic excess.

Is the cat dead or alive?

Pierre Poilievre is like a cheap steak grilled just right — rich people aren’t allergic to him, and broke people can still afford a bite if they save up all week.

But nobody’s voting for an economic manager. They’re voting for who to scream at when their mortgage goes underwater and the EI cheque bounces.

Mark Carney will manage the decline professionally — with that smooth banker tone that suggests poverty is just another lifestyle brand you weren’t smart enough to cash in on.

Pierre Poilievre will call it robbery and swear to lock somebody up — but he’ll chase the wrong villains, and the only ones who’ll pay are a few Gaza-chanting poli-sci kids reluctantly applying to trade schools.

First 100 Days of a Tory Government

If Poilievre wins Monday night, he says he’s got a 100-day plan — because nothing says “urgent change” like taking three months to start.

“I have some good news and bad news: The good news is Canadians can elect a government that will bring change. The bad news for the politicians is your summer vacation is cancelled,” Poilievre said at a news conference in Saskatoon.

Wait, indefinitely? Or just until they invent a new excuse?

I always thought it was dumb politicians get a summer vacation like they’re still in Grade 5.

Why are we paying them full-time salaries when they barely show up — and probably spend half the time scrolling r/GoneWild like it’s official opposition research?

Poilievre also says he’ll call Trump and "negotiate a new deal" — whatever that means.

He swears he won’t tax Canadians (except for all the taxes we already pay) and promises three new laws to fix affordability, crime, and jobs. Sure. OK Bud.

First up: an income tax cut — but the '15%' spin is just a tiny haircut on the lowest bracket: from 15% down to 12.25%.

A whopping 2.25 points. Try not to spend it all in one place.

And it’s supposed to take four years — meaning this “urgent relief” will kick in just in time for the next inflation spike.

Then he’ll ram through a “massive omnibus crime bill” — the political version of a timeshare agreement. Sign first, find out what you bought later.

Where he plans to actually put all these new prisoners is unclear.

Poilievre says there are “vacancies” because Liberal laws let the worst offenders walk free — but last time anyone checked, Canadian prisons are bursting at the seams.

Hence, my labour-farm idea. It’s not a gulag — it’s a labour-intensive correctional facility, proudly located somewhere snowmobiles can still outrun parolees.

The third plank is repealing Bill C-69 so pipelines can get built faster — and tinkering with the capital gains tax to make it slightly less MAiD and a little more CBC operating budget.

Real urgent relief would be abolishing capital gains and income tax completely — but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.

“We need boots, not suits,” Poilievre told a B.C. crowd — while wearing a tailored dress shirt and bragging about getting things done.

Mark Carney Lying about Trump…Again

The guy hasn’t even been elected yet and he’s lying like a seasoned pro.

No surprise there — a Goldman Sachs banker is about as trustworthy as a handrail at a Montreal strip club.

His biggest lie of this campaign is that he’s the “only one” who can stand up against Donald Trump.

Like I said in another dispatch: this is just a centrist remix of Trump’s "strongman" routine. Same fascist mixtape, different producer.

“Only me — one man — can save a country of millions from another country of millions. Fight bigger bombs with better banks.”

All he’s doing is stroking fear into voters who might’ve leaned Conservative over inflation or crime.

He’s trying to transmute “Canada is Broken” into “Trump is Threatening our Sovereignty” — like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a burning mortgage.

Eventually, the Trump Threat will look like what it is: an annoying bee sting. Turns out, we’re not even allergic — so rub some mud on it and calm the fuck down.

Nothing ever happens.

The real question: how many Canadians are going to wake up stuck with four more years of Liberal rule — after realizing the stuff they actually care about (inflation, housing, crime) only gets worse the longer these idiots run the place?

And that they just blew their chance for change?

Anyway, Mark Carney tried to make his “me first” pitch by suggesting that Trump now respects Canada as a nation. This was after a private phone call with the American president.

Well, it didn’t take long for Trump to bring up the 51st state rhetoric again.

Which makes me wonder—with all the election momentum going to Poilievre in these last days of the campaign, do you think Carney called Trump and baited him?

“Fuck you Donny, we’ll never be the 51st!”

“Oh yeah, Carney-val? Let me open my mouth again and we’ll see about that!”

Trump opens his mouth, and Carney’s poll numbers get a sugar high.

And yet, it’s the Conservatives who are accused of “playing politics” over the issues.

A Poilievre win Monday night comes with pros and cons. A Carney win is just cons, start to finish.

With any luck, the younger generations outnumber the boomers — and the monolith finally cracks, with half the country plugging their noses and voting blue just to fumigate the place.

Speaking of hiring the exterminator:

This is the CBC Liberal Bias

Last night, YouTube shoved This Hour Has 22 Minutes’ first-ever election special into my feed — 45 minutes of non-stop laughs, apparently.

And I admit, the opening sketch at the high school gym wasn’t bad.

And the precursor sketch to the 2025 election — “Justin Trudeau nepo baby’d his way to the PMO” — was hilarious. No question.

For a second, it looked like a real satire — despite featuring the people they were supposed to be roasting.

(Except Poilievre, who probably told them to go pound salt.)

I was stupid enough to expect an honest comedy special.

For anyone still pretending the CBC doesn’t run Liberal PR, here it is — laid out in the first seven minutes of 22 Minutes’ election special.

I’ll even give you the timestamps, for those keeping score at home.

(By the way, comments are turned off on the video. Because nothing says “public broadcaster” like corporate-grade censorship.)

5:58: The Liberals elect a new leader, Harvard hockey legend and Bermuda banking bad boy, Mark Carney.

6:17: Steady hand of Pierre [footage of Poilievre dropping a pizza], or the mature patriarch [Carney Supporter yells: Lead us big daddy!”]

The closest they get to roasting Carney is “Bermuda” — but they tag it with “bad boy,” like offshore tax shelters are punk rock now. (And, yes, they are). But when paired with “Harvard hockey legend,” you gotta wonder, where is the joke?

And there’s no real joke in the second clip either — just an unhinged supporter.

Which, by the way, would’ve been the perfect moment for an Epstein joke. (Especially since random hecklers have been yelling it at his campaign events.)

Use this clip, (“How many kids did you molest with Jeffrey Epstein?”) and follow it up with a joke like: Still less awkward than explaining offshore banking.

This is the CBC’s Liberal bias in real time.

Poilievre and the others? Fair game — some of the shots were even decent.

But Mark Carney? Softballed like he’s Captain Canada instead of a smug technocrat who’d sell you out for a speaking fee and a private jet.

This isn’t satire anymore.

It’s a dress rehearsal for the coronation of a banker king — and the CBC jesters are there to make you believe you wanted it.